( rebelsouled // cassian andor )
cassian didn’t imagine that the transfusion would take so much out of him – but coupled with his own minor injuries that he sustained, the moment that they had mako stabilized, cassian was fading. one of the nurses – a softer one who seemed to be the least upset about his actions, tried to urge him to get a room of his own. the pilot had refused, holing himself up in the plastic chair and eventually allowing himself to drift to a dreamless sleep.
at the present, the fighter did not look comfortable by any means. his back was against one arm of the chair, long knees hoisted up against the other. arms folded over his chest and head drooping ; dark locks curtains against his closed eyes as his chest rose and fell with calm and well deserved movements. he did not stir when stacker came in and initially spoke with the still unconscious mako – cassian at the least sated by the connection that had more spark to it than before, something more than a worrisome and breakable thread when she had flatlined.
he does, however, stir at the sudden noise from the chair – jerking with a startled rattle in his throat ; brown darting around the dimly lit room before falling on stacker when the older male’s hand shook at him. he sucked in a hard and sharp breath and allowed himself to focus on the other. he expected that the other would come back – and he was prepared for the other to chew him out. even if he was stripped of his pilot status, mako was alive. he did what mattered. ( besides, he wouldn’t be fighting again if it hadn’t been for mako. )
“ i was less than pleased by the doctor’s efforts – or lack thereof – earlier, “ was his slow and admittedly tired response, shifting himself slightly so that he was sitting up and could better address the superior. as the other continued, his own counter argument lingered on the tip of his tongue to the point that cassian could nearly taste it and hear it against his own ears – but, he listened as stacker continued and, at the least, resolved to only defend himself when the other was done. while the other spoke, he realized he had grown tense around the edges, as if ready for a metaphorical fight – he only knew this because his own injuries began to ache. albeit, when stacker deflated, so did cassian ; eyes growing slightly softer as his own gaze rose to mako.
however, when his hand was raising to his shoulder, he grew more curious – eyes raising to he hand before settling back on the other’s features. it was not lost upon him what stacker meant to mako, and vise versa. and he respected the parental relationship between the two. after the very recent wound of the loss of his mother, he more than understood.
brow furrows in deeply as stacker speaks, and his own gaze now goes back to mako and watches her instead of him ; as if to divert the attention from the elephant that stacker was unveiling. he swallows compulsively, a low breath seeping from his lips. the way she looks at you. the way you look at her.“ my connection with my father was strong, “ cassian starts slowly, as if trying to carefully weigh his words with the WEIGHT of the word love in the air. as if trying to discern it for himself, as well as explain himself to who was – for all intents and purposes – mako’s father. “ i never thought i could have that kind of connection with someone else ; which is why i stopped piloting. and i was right, but not in the way i thought i would be. mako is different – i knew it from the start, and it scared me. i wasn’t ready to accept being a pilot again ; i was afraid. not of the kaiju and the possible death. but because i was scared that opening myself up to the drift with another pilot – a stranger – would take the only tether i had left of the drift with my father.” he wasn’t sure why he was explaining this. maybe he just needed stacker to understand.
or maybe he needed himself to truly understand.
“it changed when the kaiju her and i fought attacked ; i knew i was being selfish. that my father wouldn’t want me to do what i was doing. that i was being stubborn. and – “ he trailed off with a light shake of his head. “if not for mako, i wouldn’t be fighting. if not for mako, i wouldn’t have found the fire my father left behind for me to use. and the drift … with her … was different. i felt her, even after leaving the jaeger. the ghost drift – more often than usual.” i can feel her now, he wanted to say. he didn’t. “she–” a pause and a beat of hesitation before finally bringing his eyes back to stacker. in return of the other man’s rare warmness, cassian had dropped his own mask. “she is definitely something – someone – special. and i know you know that. after losing my father, and knowing i was going to lose my mother – i thought i was going to be alone. and i had come to peace with that. now, i think, if i were to be alone, it would hurt more. if i lost her — “
he laces his hands in front of him, once more choosing his words carefully, “please understand, sir. i was never interested in a relationship. not before all of this. it’s never been… a priority of mine. especially after i started losing family.” it can’t hurt if you don’t grow attached.
“but her. i can’t – “ he struggled for the right words before shaking his head, “i don’t think i could lose her and be okay.” lips thin and he takes a breath, assessing all that he himself had just said and calling upon the tether between himself and mako, reminding himself of the comfort he found in that warmth.
and, almost as if admitting it to himself just as much as stacker, his response was a much more quiet, “ … yes, i do.”
THE MARSHAL LISTENS INTENTLY TO HIS WORDS, never once realizing the journey he & miss mori had endured in only the past few months. after cassian’s recruitment into the hong kong shatterdome, he remembers well how he wanted to appoint him as a jaeger pilot, knowing that it would be difficult due to the loss of his first drift compatible partner, his father. mako, who had a much better hand at persuasion in the form of patience & understanding, would be then sent in his place, hoping her softer approach would instill a desire deep within him to want to fight once more. never did he realize such a connection would build between the two young pilots, their drift the strongest bond he had ever seen in all his years at the PPDC. it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that they would soon slowly descend down the path into LOVE, especially with their similar backstories. at first, stacker refused to acknowledge the blossoming relationship that grew between them, unwilling to believe that the young woman he raised would ever open herself up to such heartache. but now, as the pilot bared his soul before him hours after just saving her life, how could he ignore this ? if mako mori was going to grow up & fall in love, he should count his lucky stars that it was with someone as self-less & brave as cassian andor. why should he stand in her way ?
WARM SMILE SLOWLY GROWS WIDE across his cheeks at cassian’s reveal, allowing a large hand to come & comfort him with a gentle shake & squeeze. “ whatever it is that is transpiring between you & miss mori, it works. “ dark eyes would cast downwards for a brief moment, collecting the muddled mess of thoughts that began to pile in the deep confines of his brain. it was always difficult to get his own points across in a simple manner, so he would do so in the best way how —— in the form of a speech. “ war takes many things away, “ his voice drawls, looking up to meet the younger man’s gaze. “ it can take your home. your friends. family —— leaving you broken & hollow with nothing left to live for ; the drive to fight dwindles & you merely wait for the sweet embrace of death. i know i do not appear as the sort of man to carry such connections, but i’ve lost my fair share of people. i lost my sister the first day the kaiju arrived. i lost my closest friend & first drift partner due to the affects of radiation poisoning. i —— “ he hesitated for a moment, unsure if this next bit of information was something he really wanted to share. a puff of air escapes his lips, reminding himself that in this moment, he was NOT the pilot’s superior, but a concerned father who had just witnessed this man bare all his emotions without question. if cassian would entrust such thoughts to him, then why shouldn’t he do the same ? “ —— i lost the woman i loved due to my focus on the war effort, & in some respects, i lost my son as well. i realize you have lost your fair share of people as well mister andor, so i know you will take heart in these next few words: hold onto those you hold dear for as long as you can. “ fleeting glance is cast towards mako for just a moment, unable to hide the small smile that formed upon his lips. “ mako came into my life at a time when i thought i had no one. she saved me in ways i could never repay. it would be SELFISH of me to barr her a chance at happiness —— a chance to provide that amount of love & comfort to another. “
EARS PERKED UP FOR A MOMENT to realize that the slow beep of the heart monitor has escalated to a certain degree, turning to see the warrior awake & propped up on the bed. confusion spread across visage, cheeks flushed as she had overheard their conversation. “ —— marshal ? cassian ? “ eyes blink rapidly for a moment, bewildered by what seemed to be the sudden bonding of the two men she had high respect for. as she shifted in place, the dull sensation of her leg would radiate softly —— soft hisses escaping pink lips. “ where am i ? “ without hesitation, the fearless leader would remove himself from the plastic chair, quickly rushing over to meet the rookie pilot’s side. kindness flooded his eyes, taking hold of her still cold hand. “ mako, “ he muttered breathlessly, expression verging on emotional. “ my dear —— you were severely injured in the kaju attack. we almost lost you. we did lose you. you FLAT-LINED. “ stacker would then turn toward where cassian sat, hand raised to beckon him to approach. “ mistor andor took charge of the situation, assuring that you received the best care. had he not done this, you would no longer be alive. he even donated the blood for your transfusion. “
HAZEL EYES SLOWLY WIDEN like dinner plates as stacker revealed what had transpired after she lost consciousness. she briefly recalls feeling a moment of darkness encroach her vision —— losing sight of the world around her. it never once occurred to her in that moment of solitude that she was on the brink of death. gaze focuses on cassian for a moment, shocked that he would go to such lengths just for her. the warrior’s heart beat would rise, the monitor escalating in sound as she feels the tether of their connection envelop her in a deep emotion that magnified her current thoughts tenfold. speechless, she would transmit a message to her fellow drift partner, knowing well he would be able to hear it. you did that for me ? why ?
“ IT SEEMS AS THOUGH —— you two need your privacy. “ the hand that currently held mako’s would gently squeeze it, making the motion to move until he noticed something —— a splash of crimson making contacting with his skin. hand would instinctively come up to touch his upper lip, mentally cursing himself as the effects of his own exposure to the radiation from years of piloting came to fruition before the two pilots. it was something that he did not like to show to others, especially to mako. having left his daily dose of metarocin back in his quarters, he knew it would be best if he made his leave, despite knowing well that now he had instilled a small amount of stress into the warrior’s already fragile mind. guilt would eat him whole later this evening.
WIPING THE REMNANTS OF THE OFFENDING CRIMSON from his features, he would make his way to leave the room, offering cassian one last nod before speaking once more. “ you have my blessing, mister andor. “ there was no need for him to specify, offering mako one last brief smile before leaving the two to sort out their own emotions together.
“ CASSIAN ? “ mako’s tone is quiet, concern etched across tired features. not just for her father, but for her fellow jaeger pilot too. he had undergone so much over the past few hours that she cannot help but feel a tinge of remorse for blocking him from her mind after their kaiju battle. she didn’t do it out of any malice, but only to prevent the panic she knew it would have instilled in him. but —— he already knew that, didn’t he ? hand would gently beckon for him to come closer, desperate for his physical touch. his warmth. they had a alot to talk about, but in this moment, she only wanted to feel.