( rebelsouled // cassian andor )
cassian understood how much mako meant to stacker – he had seen into mako’s memories of when she was young. when the marshal had taken her in when she no longer had anyone. when nightmares became reality and she was staring down the vicious fangs of a kaiju ; and stacker became her knight in shining armor. more than that, he became her father. stacker took on a role for mako that he never had to. but he did. cassian respected his superior, but he was not apt at being able to communicate that. when the other had first come to him with the suggestion of taking up arms once more, he had felt conflict when turning him down. but, the pilot was always quick with his resolve and had stood his ground – even against someone like stacker.
it was only when mako splintered her way into his life did he relent. when she caused him to realize this war was much more than a burden on his soul ; that he still had a responsibility to utilize his skills in a fear ridden world. a world that was still very much held captive by the kaiju.
and thus, because he knew how much mako meant to stacker, it instilled a nervousness that cassian was not used to. the man didn’t unnerve easily, and when he did, he was not sure how to act. the anxious twist in his stomach couldn’t quite be swallowed down, and it merely made his fingers twist more so around one another, letting silence hang for the beat before the older male was speaking. what would he say to cassian’s admission?
albeit, soon the male’s hand is on his shoulder, and cassian is raising his gaze to him ; softening it to match stacker’s. this was not marshal to pilot – this was broken soul to broken soul. he let his expression fall accordingly. war takes many things away. cassian knew this – cassian knew this first hand, with the festering wound that still remained in his heart from the death of his father. the empty chasm that was created in the drift of his mind once he passed from this world. and not just war, life did as well. when you lead a life like cassian’s, when it’s not war that rips a piece of your soul away, you almost don’t know how to process it. when you are given the brutal reminder that life and the universe was not kind. his mother’s death jarred cassian in a way he didn’t even know was still possible.
he listens to stacker’s words, and he respects the weight of what he was telling him. understands the impact of stacker opening up in the way that he was, staying silent until the older male had spoken his fill. cassian would dip his head in acknowledgement, and whisper a barely audible, “thank you.” he did not feel like he needed to elaborate on why he was thanking his superior. he hoped that stacker understood that cassian understood the weight of the words spoken.
before any other words could be exchanged, he too did not miss the uptick of mako’s heart monitor – dark eyes instantly snapping up to the female pilot in the med bay bed. but, he did not stand. he gave the father the time with his daughter that he deserved, even if he wanted more than anything to glue himself to mako’s side and make sure for himself that she was truly okay – the memory of the wailing of her flatline and her pulseless chest under his hands still too vivid for comfort.
however, stacker was gesturing for him to come closer, so cassian rose from his seat to fall in behind the man – eyes on mako as he spoke ; gaze still just as soft as it was when the two men spoke. if not more so. and he felt his neck heat with a coloration that didn’t travel to his cheeks when stacker revealed to her what he had done, flickering his eyes between the two for a moment before letting them settle back on his co pilot once more.
he heard her words, and his expression grew infinitely warmer – i am quickly learning that there is very little i wouldn’t do for you. the scars on his side, against his ribs, pulsed with agreement.
eyes move back to the marshal as he moves – eyes catching a hint of the smear, but he says nothing on it. even as concern bubbles in his lungs, he does not want to distress mako. so, he pretends he didn’t see it. but he does acknowledge the words that stacker says, hands folded behind his back as he nods to the other – “thank you, sir,” he breaths, trying to convey his gratitude that he felt towards the superior in just those three words – watching him take his leave.
cassian then moves to mako’s bedside, shifting so that he could lower himself to side on the side of the cot – one hand taking hers on instinct, wrapping callused fingers around hers, and the other smoothing a few locks of hair from her vision. he swallows, an expression against his features one that almost looked like it didn’t belong there. not on the likes of the stoic pilot who had seen and felt far too much. he had his share of injuries – but nothing needing immediate tending to. bruising against his lower back ; a small cut against his brow.“ – mako,” he returns, a breath leaving his lips as he continued to card his hand through her hair. he swallows before finishing his quiet admission, “you scared me.”
DESPITE THE LOOMING FEAR SHE FELT as mako watched stacker leave with a trickle of blood running down his nose, great relief swept her now sore body as cassian came closer —— fingers readily entwine with his in a tight grip. the warrior feels her heart beat steadily through the echo of the monitor, physical touch enhancing their already strong mental connection —— the gentle hum of the ghost drift growing tenfold. a contented sigh tumbles from painted lips, relishing in the gentle touches as the pilot gently swept the hair off tired hazel eyes. it had been a long evening for the both of them, & despite having no recollection of past events whatsoever, mako was truly thankful for everything cassian had done for her. if not for his quick actions, she would not be here with him now, sharing this sweet moment. death was not something she had initially feared when she first began her training in the jaeger program, but the possibility of leaving cassian alone in this word was a thought that pained her greatly. he only just recently lost his mother —— losing his drift partner as well would only make his sorrows grow deeper. he did not deserve all that pain.
MOVEMENT WAS LIMITED ON HER END, the dull pain she felt in her thigh preventing her from truly returning his warm affections. when those three gentle words leave his lips, she’s touched beyond expression. a small smile graces her pained countenance, gently bringing their entwined fingers up to her lips & gently peppering each finger with a soft kiss. cheeks grow red at her own bold actions, but the hum of the drift reaffirmed her certainty. “ i’m sorry, “ she whispered against his skin, using her free hand to gently caress his face. thin fingers gently trace the cut along his brow, realizing that during this whole ordeal he still hasn’t gone to get his injuries checked. are you hurt ? her thoughts pondered, knowing the echo would reach him through their tether. “ when the kaiju pierced my leg, i knew there was no time to panic. & if you knew how badly injured i was, we wouldn’t have been able to beat it like we did. cassian, i realize my idea was a horrible one but —— i didn’t want you to worry. “ a deep sign escapes her lips, her fingers still progressing through the warm curves of his cheeks. “ & yet i only made it worse. for both you & the marshal. “
HEART MONITOR SLIGHTLY ESCALATES as she gazes deeply into eyes —— eyes that had seen far too much in the span of his young life now grown soft in the aftermath of recent events. there’s a growing temptation to fill the space that held them apart, wanting so much just to show how thankful she was for everything he had done. this was not the first time the pilot saved her life, & a part of her knew that this wouldn’t be the last. courage falters within her, & instead she allows her forehead to lean against his ; eyes taking a fleeting glance to his lips for a brief second. “ you saved my life again cass, thank you. i —— i owe you so much. “ head tilts, allowing her lips to gently graze against his jawline, pressing into his skin for a innocent kiss. “ i —— i hope i’m not too much of a burden to you. the last thing you need is all this stress after everything that’s happened the past few weeks. “